On Comments and Hate

I have struggled in recent months. My struggles are not personal or professional. My struggle has been blog related. Bad Cripple is a labor of love. It is my effort to reach as wide an audience as humanly possible in an effort to promote and advocate for the civil rights of all people with a disability. Until recently I eagerly looked forward to comments made by people who read my posts. I no longer feel this way and have reluctantly begun to moderate all comments.

I have been subjected to an increasing amount of hate email. I have always gotten hate email--one of my first posts that took the cure industry to task promoted some nasty comments. Initially harsh comments surprised me.  Six hundred posts later I have developed a very thick skin. My skin is being severely tested these days. I am getting email and comments that goes well beyond nasty and can only be considered hateful.  Some of the hate email I get hits too close to home. I have created an archive of this email because I am worried. I am sure my concern is misplaced but as a professional worrier I cannot stop worrying.

Two groups of people appear to hate me. First, people with a disability, mostly those with a spinal cord injury,  that want to be cured. No procedure is too risky No operation could be classified as too dangerous. Money spent on ramps, elevators and wheelchair access is deemed a waste. A cure is around the corner. Cure and cure alone is the only worthy goal I am told. My advocacy for disability rights is perceived to be the product of bitterness. My critique of the cure industry enrages people whose sole focus is on a cure for spinal cord injury. These people do not want to hear about how inadequate modern day rehabilitation is. To them, rehabilitation is not needed because they will be cured. My words are despised as is my lack of interest in cure.

The second group of people that send hate email are the parents of children or adults with severe disabilities. I have been told repeatedly that I know nothing of their lives. Like those with a spinal cord injury, they want a cure above all else and at minimum appropriate social supports. They are emphatic on this point. There is no pride in disability. The very idea of disability pride is an affront. Disability these parents assert is terrible. Worse yet, the disability rights movement has left them behind. Disability rights scholars such as myself whose identity is positively linked to disability ignore their lives and suffering.

I will readily acknowledge I have a privileged body. I am independent. My autonomy in the traditional sense of the term has not been compromised by paralysis. Basically I can wipe  my own ass and have control of my bladder and bowels. I perform all my ADLs without assistance. Pain and many other typical post spinal cord injury related complications do not affect my life or work. I am well aware many, most in fact, people with a disability encounter far greater social and physical obstacles. As a parent,  I can only imagine what it is like to watch one's child with a disability suffer. I understand how hard it must be to see snow fall and know that for days if not weeks you will be stuck inside because snow removal is inadequate. I understand life in a nursing home is a terrible thing to endure. I understand poverty associated with disability can and does kill the human spirit. I understand chronic if not life long unemployment can lead one to believe their life has no value. I understand accessing the health care industry can be difficult and frightening. I understand respite care is grossly inadequate for those that provide total care for a disabled person. I understand the never ending fight for appropriate social support is draining in the extreme.

Believe me I get it. I have been thinking about disability for the last three decades. I advocate for myself of course. But my advocacy work and scholarship is dedicated to those that cannot fight for themselves. In short, I advocate for all people with a disability. I do this because it is the ethical thing to do. It is something I will spend the rest of my life doing.

The point of the above is to ask those that have a strong or even violent reaction to my work to please think before you send me an email or submit a comment. Please do not tell me that you hope my son will be paralyzed like Christopher Reeve. Do not tell me you hope my bothers and sisters all become disabled, develop a seizure disorder or dementia. Do not tell me my parents are ashamed of me or I am paralyzed for their past mortal sins. Please do not tell me I am the Anti-Christ. Please do not tell me I am filled with rage and hatred because I cannot walk. Please do not tell me you hope I am in  car crash and die a slow death on the side of the road. Do not wish my house burns down.  Do not curse me or tell me I am going to rot in hell for eternity. All these comments have been sent my way within the last two months.

What good can come from such comments? How can I possibly respond? Criticism I get. I am happy to engage others who disagree with me. I always learn something from those who hold opposing view points. In part this is why I loved the comment section of Bad Cripple. But what I really do not get is why. Why lash out at me? Perhaps these comments are indicative of post 9/11 American culture. Dissent has somehow morphed into a tawdry if not anti American enterprise. Those that oppose the status quo are unpatriotic and possibly dangerous. I know my words can be upsetting to others--others who have an entrenched and often antiquated conception of disability. I have no doubt those that embrace a charity or medical model of disability will not like my work. I know my words can be harsh. I have taken others to task--others with and without a disability. I take no joy in this and instead am trying to make a much larger point. I use the moniker Bad Cripple for good reason. I am bad because I am not willing to bow down to others. I am capable and willing to assert my civil rights awarded to me 23 years ago by the ADA. If I was black and the year was 1950 something I would be considered "uppity". Like historic figures in the civil rights movement I advocate equality for all.
Hence, I am on the side all people with a disability. I have made this choice knowing it will not make me popular. I can live with this.  What bothers me is the hate and venom that has been sent my way by others with a disability. I am on your side. I always will be.  Question me. Challenge me. But please do not hate me.  This is a waste of time and energy. Important work needs to be done to protect and advance the civil rights of people with a disability.  Hate is counter productive.