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Monday, September 27, 2010

Its a Small World

I survived the weekend. I must be doing better because nonstop football games, college and pro, grew increasingly boring. I read more, watched TV less and seem more engaged. No doubt my overall health is getting better by the day. I feel stronger and friends say I look much better. I have not yet jumped back into work but I am getting close. Other signs of progress are that the wound care specialists are excellent. They are familiar with the wounf vacuum and I am relieved they know what they are doing.

The above is very real, finite and measurable progress. This progress is tempered by my new reality--my world is very small. I live in my living room, cannot get out of bed and look out the same windows daily. I have gone from an active lifestyle to one that leaves me virtually inert. I do not mean to whine--I am all too aware I am lucky. I could have ended up in a nursing home or still be stuck in the hospital. I also know I am lucky to live in my home as my living room boasts quite the view. Yet weeks ago my idea of observing wildlife includes paddling on the Hudson River. Now I look out my window at squirrels and chipmunks. This is a big let down. I have no doubt my spirits will rise as I adjust to my new life and temporarily limited environment. For now, I am still in a transitional phase. I am better but now 100% I am happy to be home but sad at the same time. These observations bring back long ago memories of when I was first paralyzed. To be blunt, the adjustment from walking to using a wheelchair was a real mind fuck. The transition however was filled with periodic excitement. For instance, I recall my first wheelchair. What a poerful sense of liberation! To go fro a hospital clunker to what was at the time a real wheelchair left me smiling for days. Thus I am content knowing in a few weeks or months I will have a similar experience when I sit up and leave my home for the first time. So this is what I am trying to keep at the forefront of my mind. I am not always successful but as each day passes the hospitalization drifts into the past and I am another day closer to a return to what passes for normal to me. Amazing that on such a deary day I can be so positive.


Anonymous said...

Happy to read about your real, finite and measurable progress, Bill. Looks you have a handle on your current "middle ground". Is there anyone who could guide you in exercising with some free weights?


emma said...

Good to hear you are back home and making progress.

FridaWrites said...

Reading/writing poetry always does wonders for me from bed--you can revisit what you've seen from memory and plan ahead. Planning ahead for some things you want to do when you're better--something special--may help.

I still recommend Netflix--I've been watching old classics I'd always meant to see.

william Peace said...

Extras, Ha, I am ahead of you on weights. I use light weights three or four times a day. Good thinking on your part, thanks.
Frida, My local provider has thousands of movies for pay per view. No need for Netflix

Anonymous said...

Excellent! You can call me by my first name, Barbara, or should I address you as Dr. Peace?

william Peace said...

Barbar, No one calls me Dr. Peace. Not even my mother when she is mad!