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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I am Not Alone Part II

Wel the stars must be aligned in some way. Smart Ass Cripple just answered a question on his blog today about how does one become a bitter cripple. See His answer is classic. It had me on the floor laughing. First he defines what a bitter cripple is and then explains people without a disability can only be honorary bitter cripples.

The term bitter cripple does not refer to a physical condition. It is, rather, an advanced state of consciousness. It is an exquisitely indefinable stage of enlightenment that is attained by freeing one’s self from the tyranny of bull shit.
A bitter cripple, essentially, is a cripple who is pissed off about how cripples are treated. There is no single path to becoming a bitter cripple. I view achieving enlightenment (religious or otherwise) in the same way I view achieving orgasm. Who cares how you get there, just so you get there.
However, to truly understand what it means to be a bitter cripple in all its many dimensions, one must actually be crippled. But the good news is the enlightened uncrippled like you can become honorary bitter cripples. All you have to do is convince an actual bitter cripple to bestow that title upon you.
I must warn you though that even being an honorary bitter cripple is a lot of work. Bitter cripples and our allies are on the frontlines of the ongoing War on Bull Shit. The allure of bull shit is relentless. It’s always trying to win you back, always trying to convince you that you shouldn’t be so upset so much. Bull shit wears many disguises. You must be vigilant.
It's much easier to just give up and be a sweet cripple or, even worse, a bittersweet cripple. Being a bitter cripple is a lifelong commitment. It can really wear you down. I hope in my lifetime the forces of bull shit will be vanquished to the point where I can ease up a little and retire to the status of bitter cripple emeritus.

Yup there you have it. I am waging a war on bull shit. What have I gotten myself into. 


A said...

Well, my sweet daughter might confer honorary BC status upon me if she could speak.

Lucretia said...

I guess I am (or could be) an honorary BC. I also love the idea of waging war on bull shit!!!

Moose said...

Lately I've been considering responding to questions like, "Why can't you walk?" with questions like, "Are your tits real?" or "How long is your penis?"

If they think my question is incredibly rude, maybe I can get them to see that theirs is, too.

william Peace said...

A and Lucretia, For a modest donation to the BC School of Bitterness I can confer honorary status.
Moose, While I think your reply questions are funny, I would be worried someone will punch you in the nose. Here is a trick I have used when my son and are together. When you get the inevitable "watch out for that man in a wheelchair" I turn the question around. I tell my son "watch out for that man in the yellow shirt". Believe it or not one out of ten people get it. You see the light bulb go off a few seconds later.

Melanie Suzanne Gerber said...

Bill, As long as I have known are not a "Bad Cripple". You are a "Bad Ass Cripple" and that is a compliment.
When I visit my in-laws at The Atria and see all folks using walkers, canes & is a wake up call on how much more we as a society should be doing!!!

Middle Child said...

spot on