As many know, hospitals hum along during the week. That action comes to a grinding halt on the weekend. Last night was quiet and today will be slow--way slow. This lack of activity is good and bad. On the downside, I have too much time to think. I torture myself for hours on end. How did I let two wounds, horrible wounds develop? My answer remains the same--I have no idea. This so called answer is as unsatisfactory as is maddening. I have lost much sleep contemplating and berating myself. Yes this is not productive but what do you do at 2AM after being woken up for vital signs.
The only good news is that I bought a bed or will do so Monday. Actually I have not bought a bed but a luxury car--yes the bed cost a small fortune. Did I have a choice? In a word, no. The fact is even when healed my skin will forever be compromised. This fact is not in dispute. But insurance is very clear--a bed is not covered, it is not part of my contract. No appeals are possible. Who is at fault for this? Why me of course. One and all tell me I have terrible insurance. Tell me something I don't know. What the powers that be don't want to hear is why. Why do I have bad insurance that I fought tooth and nail to get.. This story falls on deaf ears and cold hearts. I will have much more to say about this as I heal.
To fend off boredom I am reading many crappy novels, what I call reading TV. I try to surf the net via my TV and tiny screen. This is an exercise in frustration. What I am sure to always do is never ask for help. In ten days I have hit the call button twice. This, I know, makes me a good patient. More than anything else, this reputation leads to good care. Hence I think of Irving Goffman and his work on institutions often. This is as relevent today as when it was written. When I get home it will be the first real book I will read. So dreams of home and normalcy, my old life, will dominate my thoughts today as visitors do a piss poor job of entertaining me. Hopefully said visitors will bring real food and better yet a beer.
3 comments:
I had to spend 5 months in a rehab. hospital after suffering a cerebral hemorrhage back in early 1986 at the age of 30, was stuck in a coma the first 2 weeks and then (after waking up again) began getting mobile again in a wheelchair for the next 6 months after which it became possible to begin walking again, although it was many months before I was able to walk without the cane. The rehab. nurses at the hospital were good about my care so those sores didn't develop, but while I was in coma they didn't turn my head enough so after regaining consciousness it took months of exercises forcing my head to turn to the left before that became comfortable again. Recovery was a very long and involved process, but well worth it.
I've always had some problems with my skin and predispositions to infections, and for a time did have some sores that wouldn't readily heal. I used gentamycin on the wounds and took pau d'arco and finally they did heal after another few months on that regimen. My circulation is not the greatest because of that major stroke suffered 24 years ago now, so I'll always have to be careful along those lines. These days I no longer have to take the pau d'arco, but I do take a huge regimen of other supplements for health - life after age thirty has been a maintenance job. By the grace of God, I have lived long enough to see my 6 children grow up and, so far, 9 grandchildren arrive. There's still a lot more I'd like to do, but am waiting to continue discovering the Lord's will for my life. It's a continual adventure. I hope this has been helpful to you and pray you're better soon.
Sincerely,
Vicki DeLacy
I had to spend 5 months in a rehab. hospital after suffering a cerebral hemorrhage back in early 1986 at the age of 30, was stuck in a coma the first 2 weeks and then (after waking up again) began getting mobile again in a wheelchair for the next 6 months after which it became possible to begin walking again, although it was many months before I was able to walk without the cane. The rehab. nurses at the hospital were good about my care so those sores didn't develop, but while I was in coma they didn't turn my head enough so after regaining consciousness it took months of exercises forcing my head to turn to the left before that became comfortable again. Recovery was a very long and involved process, but well worth it.
I've always had some problems with my skin and predispositions to infections, and for a time did have some sores that wouldn't readily heal. I used gentamycin on the wounds and took pau d'arco and finally they did heal after another few months on that regimen. My circulation is not the greatest because of that major stroke suffered 24 years ago now, so I'll always have to be careful along those lines. These days I no longer have to take the pau d'arco, but I do take a huge regimen of other supplements for health - life after age thirty has been a maintenance job. By the grace of God, I have lived long enough to see my 6 children grow up and, so far, 9 grandchildren arrive. There's still a lot more I'd like to do, but am waiting to continue discovering the Lord's will for my life. It's a continual adventure. I hope this has been helpful to you and pray you're better soon.
Sincerely,
Vicki DeLacy
Again, I apologize for just now catching up with you! Weekends are brutal- I was in a hospital for a month this past spring, and weekends were the bane of my existence. (I also didn't have tv..oi). I am also fascinated by what you said of the writings of Irving Goffman, and I am off to search him in our local public library. I just ordered 3 books on disability that I hope to use to add more entries to my blog soon.
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